sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
