She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
