I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
