so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
