I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
