Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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