***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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