We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
