how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
