Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
tell me about the fingering
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