Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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