party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm like, not good at living.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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