Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
