you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
