I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
