I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
