Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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