plz talk dirty to me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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