I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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