Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
