sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
