I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
