my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
