Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ladies don't puke and tell
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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