So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
