that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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