I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
