No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
