Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
