What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
