Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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