even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
