We won't sleep together?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
