think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
