real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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