You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
