so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
