So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
