They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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