I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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