you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
