google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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