the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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