I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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