I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
