She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
