making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
