no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
