just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
