Don't you send me to vm
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
