some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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